Why I Don't Want the Best for My Kids

Fair warning: This is a soapbox post.

I said it. I don't want the best for my kids. They are amazing people.  All four of them. They are smart, funny, and kind, but they don't deserve the best.

When my first was born, (I say first because he is not my oldest.) I spent lots of time thinking of all the disadvantages of raising him in our small, rural town. If we stayed in this town, he would not be able to have all the cultural experiences and educational enrichment that my city friends provided their children. Music preschool? No chance. There's one preschool and you better like it. What if he wanted to take hip-hop class? Or learn French? Or play hockey? These are all things I simply could not give him. 

I felt like I was failing him as a parent because we were so limited. The nearest metro area is over an hour away.  How was I supposed to provide him and his siblings with the best when we simply did not have access to it?

Then it hit me last year- Not giving them the best of everything is one of the best things my husband and I could do for our children. 

 My kids have some great teachers in their schools, but they live in a poverty majority school district. It's also a minority majority school.  Many of my middle-class suburban friends consider these scary facts - too scary for their own children.  You know what scares my husband and I even more? The thought of our children growing up in a school where everyone looks just like them.  Where all the kids can afford expensive summer vacations and have the latest tech toy.  That's not the real world.  We believe it's harder to raise children who understand the duties of human kindness and serving others if they spend 99% of their time not surrounded by anyone in need.  I'm not here to shelter my children.  I'm here to teach them how to survive and soar no matter where life takes them. And most importantly to be good humans.

Do the kids in the wealthy, suburban schools have some advantages academically? Probably.  But we are willing to give up those advantages for the many life lessons to be learned right where we are.

And I might add, that there are many advantages that have come from this small town. My kids ride horses at their grandparents 15 minutes away. They participate in community theater and their Dad and I have a grueling 4 minute commute from home to work.  Most importantly, the genuine friendships that come from a close knit community seem to be unmatched by any other kind of environment I have encountered.

  

Let me be clear, my kids don't suffer- they participate in variety of activities and sports.  And we frequently have to make decisions about driving long distances for things like ballet class.  But don't look for my crew to have a cell phone in elementary school, designer jeans, or their own iPad.  Buying our kids a new car? No way! I would never steal the prideful moment felt when one can pay for their own, first, NEW car.

 The start of the school year is an opportunity for more "disadvantages" for my kids.  They started school this year in (gasp) clothes that were not new. Scissors and a pencil box for school? Grab some that you used last year. They still work.  Backpacks? If last years' is in good shape, load it up.  

I have the best kids.  Really, I do. But I will never never give them the best.  By doing so, I hope to give them much more.