I Could Never Do That

This isn't my usual blog post.  It isn't a funny story about Ryder or the other kids.  Instead, it is thoughts that have been rolling over and over in my mind and need to be put to paper.  Or screen.

It has been almost a year since Will entered our lives.  The impression he has left on my life is real.  I am forever changed.  My family is forever changed. The decision to make Will a part of our family was a part of God's plan. I know this without an ounce of doubt. 
When Will entered the scene last summer, my eyes were opened to a whole world that I never really knew much about - foster care. I had never known anyone that was a foster parent, nor did I know any children in state custody.  I had never stepped foot in a shelter for foster children or had contact with DHS caseworkers.  Like many people, if the discussion ever came up of fostering children, I would say, "I could never do that.  I would want to keep all of them."

My eyes are open and can never be closed again.  I understand that the system, while highly flawed, is in place to give children a safe haven when they need it most.  The families that open their homes to children for days, months or years, become their rock in the storm.  These foster parents protect the weak and innocent.  Is there a higher calling?

Children do come and go from foster homes.  Movement is one of the inevitabilities of the system.  When the time comes for a child to move, these mothers and fathers often mourn the loss.  The siblings may feel the hole left when their temporary sibling leaves.  It hurts, but they do it anyway.  If you have ever spent any time with the children in custody, it becomes much easier to understand why they do it.  Foster parenting is a completely selfless act.  It isn't about the parents.  It is about the kids.  Its about stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a risk to better someone else's life.

Not everyone is meant to be a foster parent.  Most people are not called to this service.  There are many valid reasons not to foster children.  However, "I could never do that.  I would want to keep all of them."  is not a good reason.  When you look at this quote from my own mouth, it is actually two self-centered statements. It is the opposite of a self-less act like fostering. 

Those words will never come out of my mouth again.  While we are not an open foster home, we will take occasional, emergency placements. I know I will continue to volunteer with the youth shelter and strive to fill other needs for children in custody in my county.  Will was a one-time thing for our family, mostly because we wanted to keep him.